I just wanted to hold, you in my arms

Today is my saturday. I love having days totally off. and I hella need it it too, with work being as crazy as it is, I think If I didnt have at least one day a week to do absolutly nothing, I might go crazy. I just woke up maybe 20 minutes ago, But kita's still asleep. Her mum came over last night to have dinner, and hang out for a bit. and I have to let you know, I have pretty extensive plans today; watching a movie (Shrek 2), having a bath, maybe watching the virgin suicides, making something to eat... yeah, I have a tough life on the weekends. :P But I do have to get to school tomorrow, that course that i really like has just been sitting there for like, 2 months. Its a music composition and technology course through the distance education program that I'm taking at ILC.

I called some people I hoped might have connor Gnam's number. I just havent heard from him in so long. He did an interview about a year ago, talking about how aweful high school was and how nobody accepted him because he was a dancer, and blah blah blah. It made me so mad because we all did accept him, and liked him, and I know that everybody around us did too. This is the article:

"Making the decision to be a dancer is not an easy one for a guy to make, but for professional dancer Connor Gnam, it's been worth the rough ride.Gnam and his dance company, Ballet Kelowna, will be performing Swan Lake in Penticton next month."It was so bad," said Gnam, shaking his head with a smile.Gnam, who grew up in Nanaimo, found himself transferring high schools seven times before graduating. "It was the exact same cycle every time. I'd start at a new school, make all sorts of new friends, then someone would find out that I was a dancer and one jerk that was jealous, for whatever reason, would start, then all his friends would get in on it and it would get worse and worse. You can only take so much before it really starts hurting."Small communities are like that," he said. "That's why bigger schools like the National (the National Ballet's professional program and boarding school in Toronto) are so good for male dancers because it's such a nurturing environment."Nurturing, yes, but Gnam found it too structured, geared only towards ballet with no jazz, modern or other forms of dance incorporated so, year after year, he'd spend part of his school year at the National, and part of the year at yet another high school in Nanaimo until someone else discovered that he danced."What I didn't understand was, these big guys would go play on a hockey team, they'd have one changing room with all the guys in there naked together and, meanwhile, I'd be in dance class with a 25-to-1 ratio of beautiful half-naked women and I'm the one who is supposedly gay?"You just have to rise above it and remember they're the unlucky ones. I'm the one getting to travel all over the world and getting paid to do what I love, so in the end, I win - Real happiness doesn't come from taking someone else down a peg, it comes from elevating yourself and others."

fuck off, I loved that kid as a person, hes a great dancer, and I thought a great guy. But my sense of people must be really off if he either didnt realize how much we liked him or really thought we treated him that badly.

I went to the website for arts alive to find out what theyre doing this year and I got got sucked in to seussical, but moreso, copacabana pictures. HOly crap that was so long ago. this summer it'll be four years since music man. That just blows my mind!

I'm watching Mr. Hollands Opus. I can't wait to be a teacher. especially of something I love!

Also coachella, and Virgin Music Fest. Looking forward to that like nobody's business. 81 days till coachella!!! thats all my brain thinks about at work. people tell me I'm pleasant, but that's cuz I'm in california...

Free, but for that little string on my finger reminding me of you.