You run along the uneven pavement, beside the huge waves crashing into the wall. Your footfalls are heavy, your breath uneven. how the hell did it get this far? you used to run lots and now you can barely make it a couple of blocks. Emily croons in your ear, to take your childhood friends on a tour of the bedroom, and something about a dirty mind. Fuck dirty mind, your legs are geting covered in mud. when you left your house, just down the road, you imagined running every day, in cool sunshine.... But thats not how it is; drizzling most of the day, the sky rumbles ominously. School? You can barely make it past the couple of classes now, how are you going to back to school full time? face it, you lose. You aren't meant to be one of the ones that succeed. You keep on going home, and coming back, and now you are torn between two cities, neither of which feel like home. tearing a deep breath from your broken lungs you gather your wits and start running again. The dangerous sky makes good on its threat and the whole world is drenched. your hair is plastered to your face and you can't help thinking. Looking on the brightside when there is no bright side. You want to be desired as you desire, as you see others. desired and coveted. The worm have squirmed out of their homes and have gone into your path. damnit, you hate to hurt them. But they're in your fucking way! Lord lord mother we are all losing love, lord listen lover we are all missing mamma. You feel the rain screaming into your face and you dont know if its just water or if some salt from the sea or salt from the most important window is joining it. you're lost it is too late youloseihateyoufuckyoudiegotohell. Gasping, your thoughts racing around your head you want to hurt something. You run harder, enjoying the knife in your lungs, and all the sand in your knees, making that grinding when you move. just untill the bench, keep on running, when you get there you can stop, 20 more feet, almost there, thats enough. The rain is still pouring down, the worms are still trying to find somewhere to live, but your mind is calm. Finally. You breathe and feel your lungs protest, but know that its good. it is good. Gave them our reactions our explosions of all that we are, for graphs of passion and charts of stars. How ending starts. endings start with answers.


ANywho. Crazy to think we're coming up on the end of february hey? I can't even believe it it seems like two weeks ago we were opening christmas presents, and that was a sixth of the year away now! Time travels sooooo fast. I'm going to go to eat some protein enriched cream of wheat. its the best breakfast!