Frustration

Most things in my life are frustrating me right now. My family is moving, without a place for me, so I need somewhere to live. SOON. and I'd like to not be in Nanaimo, given the choice. I want to feel like I'm moving forward, and I'm just not feelin that here. It feels like everyones moving on, but I'm stuck in a rut, but where is that rut going? its leaving too, so what am I left with??? I could move to victoria, without a roommate, but its expensive and stuff.... and I get lonely... or I could share with someone I didnt know. Lame. I could find a room here in town. I could move to vancouver. fuck that I could move to vernon, or New Brunswick, If I really wanted to. Rent is cheap in NB. But I like it here. nd I want to go to school in van next year.

I'm also frustrated with some of the people in my life. I really value everyone I choose to spend time with, and some I don't spend much time with, but... theyre moving away, moving on, or just disinterested. what kind of friendships are those? When I NEED them, theyre not there. they PROMISE to call (actually using the word promise) and don't. I would be there for them in a heartbeat. Its not fair.

I miss shane already. no matter how emotionally devoid, detached, and assholish he can be sometimes, I still love that kid (as a friend!!!); one of the best people in my life. It was really nice seeing him this weekend. It meant a lot.

My love life isn't. absolutly devoid. Anybody I think I could possibly be into, isn't into me, and anybody I think might be interested in me, turns out, isn't. I mean, i know I'm not the most attractive, intelligent or talented person out there... but the last person was interested in me was gareth. and look how well thats going. (133 days. and counting. thats how much he hates me now)

Idunno... maybe things will look better when its not three in the morning, but everything looks pretty bleak right now. Heres fingers crossed for an aneurysm!