Looking around here you'd think, sure, shes got everything!

I Miss being in shows. desperatly miss being onstage, in front of people who actually want to heard what you have to say, even if youre only speaking someone elses words. I am looking forward to fiddler more then you could possibly imagine.


ANyways. SO, wednesday night, I got off work and made my way to geoffs house for the fabulous birthday party for trish! I got there and everyone was playing I never. There were a couple of *cough cough* *awkward silence* type moments, but over all it was a good game :) then we all started doing our own thing, I hadnt brought alchohol, but somehow it still kept being given to me, so I ended up with quite a lot. like not enough to be hammered, but enough to be very buzzed. Trish did her first shot, ever. SHe and I have more in common then either of us (but mostly she) realized. lol. Said lots of the same things at the same time, which always freaks me out. It just means that you have communication with someone, but its weird when it happens with people you dont know very well, or didnt think you knew very well. JOrdan davies brought over the girl who he's bein sorta seeing. I... dunno. I hope she starts treating him better, so far it hasnt seemed like the best thing. *shrugs* whatevs, as long as hes happy, I suppose! We watched the Improv show, all spur of the moment-like, and talked about our new sex toys we're going to design and market. After awhile, I was like, it is bedtime for mel, and jordan gregoire and I stayed up talking for, about ever. we made leg baskets, and taked about "Pilla" gangs (gangs of roving pillow fighters) and sang disney and robbie williams songs. 'twas awesome.

I am getting my tattoo in only 12 days! who's stoked? I know I am. I really am looking forward to my birthday party. 19 always seemed old. but I guess even things that seem far away come eventually if yu keep on rolling towards them, and you cant stop time. (hard as I try sometimes). Supreman can turn back time though, and thats just insane!!! CRAZY GO WILD!!!! *does a little dance* OH btw, will and barbara=the cutest new couple EVER. EVER. did I meantion, EVER?

I dont know what I'm gunna do with moving out, and moving where still. Its very frustrating. I worry about the future soooo much. I have rainbow coloured nails. On my fingers and toes. I did them last night at marthas house, after work. Geoff bought me pizza yesterday afternoon. we share a favourite kind, pineapple and feta cheese. did you guys know that feta IS goat cheesE? I totally didn't know that, but I've always liked both, so maybe thats why.

anyways. I think for work today I'm going to dress up like a pirate, but stay within out dress code. Impossible, you say??? I think not! I will wear my capris, flowy shirt, a scarf round my waist and another on my head. ta-daaa, instant pirate.

I kinda miss shane. Its weird, cuz he did annoy me lots of the time when he was here, but I do miss him. I guess I'll see him on my birthday weekend. I hope anyways. WHAt happens if I invite all my friends, and then, like 5 people show up. I mean I know its quality, not quantity, but when I called to make the resrvation, I just kinda threw a number out there, and how emarrassing, to be like, well yeah, I do have friends, but only like 3 of them could come. That would just be awkward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I had a dollar bill for every time Ive been wrong
Id be a self-made millionaire and youd still be gone
So hand me down my best dress shoes and my best dress shirt
Cause Im going out in style to cover the hurt
And all I wanna do all day is spend it in bed
But thats bad for the body and even worse for my head
So Ill try and find a place where no one will ask me a thing
Itll help to forget and help me to sing

Cause now Im drunk again
The means to my end
And Im scared of myself
Cause now its all the same
the faces and names
And Im scared of myself again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder what it feels like to go crazy. FOr all I know, I'm experiencing that, and I don't even know it. anybody could be. I guess crazy is just such a wide term. But still.

My mother was supposed to be here 25 minutes ago. I haven't seen her in, oh, probably two weeks. And its growing likelier by the minute that I will not see her today either. That sucks.

Greham called me at midnight last night, "just to se what was up". Now thats a booty call if I've ever heard one.

MOMS HERE! *surprised*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baby sometimes I think I catch ya crackin cynical smiles
And in a short while youll be my
Hearts grave digger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~