Pineapple Island - Home of the Purple Penguins

Friday, April 21, 2006

Have fun!!!!

Just wanted to say have an AMAZING prom to all those going, and a great 12 days to those of you who aren't. I know all you ladies and gents will look respectivly radiant and handsome, and Just dont sweat the small stuff, and dance to all the songs. I remember sitting out some of the songs I didnt like, and Now I wouldnt, if I had the chance to do it again.

I'm gunna miss you guys, and I'm really looking forward to seeing all the prom pictures and everything!!!

(PS. I'm really sorry I can't get you guys stuff. You know how low my cash is... I wish I could get presents/souveniers for you guys though....)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

A new goal

Keep my fat-ass mouth shut. Really. I am seriously going to stop saying things that make me say *SHIT I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT*

Then again I stand by my assertion that I would rather regret doing something, then not doing somehting, because I would rather live with, "gee I wish I hadn't done that, it didnt turn out the way i'd wanted it to", then " I wonder if he still thinks about me".

I saw someone today in the mall, and I realized how weird my brain can be sometimes.

pfft, try all the time :S

2 days till Cali!!! (Head automatica got added :D:D:D)

I love you

I love you when you're drunk
I love you when you're sober
I love you when you're funny
I love you when you're dark

I love you when I miss you
I love you when I have you
I love you when I hurt you
I love you when I'm guilty

I love you when youre happy
I love you when youre sad
I love you when youre angry
I love you when youre lusty

I love you when you look at me
I love you when I can't meet your eyes
I love you when youre silly
I love you when you won't speak my name

I love you when you hate me
I love you when you love me

I Love you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can't BELIEVE I fucked up this bad.... even worse, I cant belive I didnt realize how bad it was. I dont know what kind of love it is. but its love even if its not romantic or sexual love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her eyes upon your face
Her hand upon your hand
Her lips caress your skin
Its more then I can stand....

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I've seen this on... maybe 4 peoples blogs, and now feel I have to do it myself :P

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? I'm sure I have....
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? in one continuous relationship? almost 2 months. If you count more than one relationship with the same person and add them together... probably 4 or 5 months.
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? Laura's mom gave be a basket of easter goodies :)
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? Mine had dents all over it. But I love it :D
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? ahahahahahahahaha.... umm..... "work out" like exercise? probably last weekend... I really don't do that much (*thinks* maybe I should get on that...)
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? California... rent when I have it... gifts for people, food.
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? a hershy's kiss
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE SAME SEX? hair
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? Omg just one? well I've been listening to Zombie by the Cranberries a lot recently... or Be our guest from beauty and the beast
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? my house in lantzville
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: Dover
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: Rogers
13. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO YOU COPIED THIS: ahaha I think Martha is fabulous
14.LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: just over 2 years
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? I'm sur, somewhere
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: not on a regular basis, but I have
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: My dad's coworker Lori
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: hummm... probably Brianna
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: At the moment I dont really have a best friend.
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: subway...
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE HEARD? "I'm fine." or "It's just for a little while"
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? Probably Acme
24. CAN YOU COOK? Yes.I dont know how to cook meat, cuz I dont know what its supposed to taste like
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: I dont drive :(
26. BEST KISSER? hummm..... it depends what youre in the mood for.
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: aha, I cry all the time these days.
28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD: olives... or spicy food
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: I think I have pretty hands.
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: my tummy and teeth among other things
LONGEST SHIFT YOU H AVE WORKED AT A JOB? 16 hours between two jobs
33. FAVORITE MOVIE(S)? Rent, Ever after, moulin rouge, gone with the wind, gone in 60 seconds, the lion king.... and thats jutst off the top of my head
34. CAN YOU SING? sorta. I love to sing
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? haha I've never been to a big concert, yet. I guess, the show at the scout hut where geoff's band played
36. LAST KISS?: ahaha... well, i'm not positive.... but nolan I think... ahee
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: I'm not sure... but probably Rent.
38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: my cellphone.
39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?: I dont know yet, I havent been all the places I want to go!
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: I wish I had a laptop
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN? robin williams
45. DO YOU SMOKE? on occasion
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? usually with SOMEthing on.... but not always.
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: My teddy bear. Yes. I still sleep with my teddy bear. is that going to be a problem?
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: I think for me they might work better then regular ones...
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? none
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? right now pancakes, but in about 30 seconds I could change my mind
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: yes
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? scrambled or over hard
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: no, but I read my horoscope anyways :P
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: Well I got a message from alleah.... but actually talked to? My dad prolly
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: My mom
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: Text messageing is lame :P
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS? 2, unless its mine. cuz its like a couch cushion, and huge
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: PJ pants and the biggest wool sweater ever
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC OR SONG? "try the grey stuff, its delicious, dont believe me? ask the dishes! they can sing they can dance, after all This is France!!!!"
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J SANDWICH? strawberry. I considered raspberry, but I like that better by itslef, without the peanut butter
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL? not well
63. CAN YOU SWIM? yes
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Rocky road. Or coconut gelato
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?: Yes.
66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I'm letting my hair grow out to its natural colour
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: I can't remember the last party I went to that wasn't themed.
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?: summer
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? all the time.
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? morning, hah. 12:20
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: CHRISTMAS SONGS AND FOOD AND HOT DRINKS AND COMING IN FROM SLEDDING WITH YOUR TOES ALL NUMB!!!!
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: never...
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET? Teaspoon
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: way cool
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? leaving to go to california. spending a day in van, and a day on a bus
78. BIRTHDATE: July 19
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: A music teacher
85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: no
87. ARE YOU SMILING?: um... no
88. DO YOU HAVE ON EYELINER?: I just woke up. So no.
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW? yes.
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? venezuela. Or Italy.
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: well technically yes, I have a correspondance course to do
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: oddly enough.... I do and I dont... not really.
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Cadence for a girl, and Brody or Rigby for a boy
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: Blue and other blue
. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: I dont go to school... but if I did, it was september
97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: no
98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: no sir
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER? two stepsisters.
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: NO. The compter is in the laundry room.
101. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? yes and no. Ive never had to stay there
103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? yeah
104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?: 15 earrings, a tongue ring, a labret stud, three rings and a necklace
105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? go have some cereal.

The object of your hatred

I can do too little too late. I've lost. This is pointless.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

NOW PRESENTING!!!!! A WORK-IN-PROGRESS!!!!! THE NEW, AND HOPEFULLY IMPROVED!!!!! me :)

I figure, having spoken to several important people in my life, that changes have to be made.

~My outward maturity levels seems to have gone down. This is unacceptable, and must be rectified
~I need to talk to some people and at least give them the option to fix some things. I owe several people apologies, and even those that don't want to hear it... well, they dont have to accept it, just know that its heartfelt.
~I feel that too many of my conversations with my friends are either ABOUT sex, or involving some sort of innuendo, and thats not okay any more. If it comes up naturally, then yeah, I'm not going to pretend it doesnt exist, but, not so much on my mind and tongue any more
~Theres a large possibility that I've been pretty self-centred. That has to change
~My work ethic and enthusiasm have waned... thats also an area for improvement.
~I need a big project to work on. Not just something to Save up for, but something to focus some of my excess energy on. like a musical!

If anybody has anything that they feel has been a hindrance to the continuation or progression of our friendship, please say so. I figure, make all the big changes at once.

***ADDED AFTERWARDS*** also, I'd like to be more polite. and remember to floss my teeth. And work on moving out sooner rather then later. No promises kids, I really am going to work on these goals, but if I slip and stuff... idunno. I just can't stand losing anyody else. for any reason.

Unforgettable

I'm so emo. I just wrote this BIG emo post, and then realized that it wasn't how I wanted to feel. and I have control. Over my emotions, over my actions. SO I choose to feel not... well les emo. Sometimes a good cry is just what someone needs.

It

I just finished reading Stephen King's "It".

Sometimes it would be nice not to have such a large imagination. I cant go to the bathroom, wash my hands, have a shower, look into a dark room without turning on the light first and walking by the ditch pipes that Martha, Levon, hannah and I played in as kids, FREAKS the living daylights out of me. Theres a small amount of red marker on the bottom corner of my competer screen, and In my head it turned into drops of blood, and kept growing and growing....

Now that the light is on, and I have jack johnson playing, I feel calm enough to continue.

The book was very well written. I am entirely unsurprised, as he is an excellent writer. (His book, "The STand" is up on my list of top 10 all-time favourites)

I had several attacks of extreme paranoia this week, entirely unrelated to the horror novel I was reading. I have this aweful suspicion that all the people I know and love really are tired of me, complain about me, and try to ignore me when they see me. soemtimes It seems like the friendships I have are all imaginary ones, built with that vivid imagination to seem as real as the blood in the sink.

ack, it sounds like there is something dripping and trickling onto the floor above me (int eh bathroon) but I went up to check, and nothing. but the OSUND i hear is NOT my imagination....

god I can't wait for my vacation.

I watxched Serenity today. didnt QUITE live up to expectations, but good nonetheless.

I also catsat this weekend, it was excellent Diva (the cat) had a great big swollen nose, and so she was snoting and snuffling all night long. surprisingly conforting, even to one who is living in minor terror that she will wake up to something breathing wheezily beside her...


BAH I LOVE THE OC I LOVE THE OC I LOVE THE OC, RYAN IS PLAYED BY BENJAMIN MCKENZIE, SETH IS ADAM BRODY, SUMMER IS RACHEL MCADAMS, MARISSA IS MISCHA BARTON.... I'm feeling slightly less creeped out,. although I can still hear the dripping above me... If I get murdered by an insane clown, I'm really sorry for all the things I've done to hurt, shame and annoy you!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

due to my newly discovered bisexuality... In grade nine, I developed sex pants.

so last week, my mother calls me up and says, Its my birthday next weekend, so roger is taking me away for the weekend, would you please look after the cat, and the house? Sure mom, thats fine. May I keep ONE person with me for company? NO! SO what do I do? I had a UNdress-up, spa, Margarita, girls night!

Martha, cora, Barbara and I came over to my moms house between 7:30 and 10:30 (MARTHA WAS SO LATE!) and we made margaritas and did face masks and went in the hot tub. haha, we gave each other nearly naked massages and wore corsets/fishnets/high heels/cute bras and underwears/no pants/little silk slips hahaha

It was really nice... smaller groups, I learned some stuff about everyone I didnt know before, even martha. The more I think about it, the more I figure I already knew that story, but still.... I didn't remember it, thats for sure. and there were a couple things I heard/deduced about cora and barbara that were fairly significant.

ON Friday, I worked till 4, then took the Bus to parksville to meet michelle, who I had only met once or twice, at martha's/cora's/glenn's show, she did lights for jerry finnegans sister and we were chatting on MSN and she was like, you should come to this youth group thing, at first I was hesitant, I must admit, but I went, and it was SOOOO much fun.... I met two pretty boys and a very pretty girl :) we really just hung out, smoked some, made some connections with far-away people, which could always come in handy....

THEN I got a ride to Cora's house, wheer she made me a quesadilla, and I had delicious dessert compliments of stef W. We (cora, martha, stef, steph, rosie, and I) went disco bowling next!!! I was a kitty, with highlighter on my face :D I lost... but I had fun dancing!

Thats as far back as I can remember.....

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Oh ladies, come now... would we do a thing like that? Imagine? Marriage!!!!

***WARNING*** Police are warning all men who frequent online Blogging websites to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman they find online. Many females have been found to be using a date rape drug on the market called "Beer." This drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators to persuade their male victims to do things they wouldn't do in their right mind. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, wearing what they refer to as "beer goggles", they will often find these women just as attractive as they claimed to be on their profiles. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship". In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage". Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females. Should you fall victim to the "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book. ***STAY ALERT AT ALL TIMES!!!***

SO

yesterday geoff and I went to Pipers lagoon. I found diamonds:) and a dragons foot. It was very pleasing.

You know who is underrated? Barbara! I've known barbara a long time. I met her in Music man, the same year I met Laura, Brianna and gareth. she was one of the quartet's wives, and she was so cute in her big hat singing the pick-a-little talk-a-little song. :) she has so many quirks.... I think theyre fab. Shes also an amazing poet, and a beautiful singer. and shes gunna be a great mother, someday. she can make ordinary things seems extraordinary, because of her valuminous (I dont think thats a word, but I'm going to use it anyways) imagination. barbara and I... we're not close. but we could be. I think anyways.

"I peer through the window... knock at the door, and the monster I was, so afraid of, lies curled up on the floor, is curled up on the floor, just like a baby boy I cry untill I laugh... I'm afraid of loving women, and I'm scared of loving men. Flashbacks coming every night, don't tell me everythings alright. WHen I allow it to be, it has no control over me. I have my fear, it does not have me" - darkness by peter gabriel... a fairly close assessment of how I'm feeling. That and

WHYYYYYY????

I have very little prose these days

Mother
serene
slender
your tall crystal chalise
sparkles with liquid
I wish you would hold me
like your hold your champage

even
with one gloved hand
away from your body
so I dont spill on your dress
and make a bad impression

Its closer then I am
do you think he loves you?
(happy birthday.)

On being ditched
I sat on the clover hill
waiting for you

there were shredded greenstuffs
and a very low sun

when you decided to come
and show me your beautiful hair

"worth the wait?"
shone your teeth

I bowed my head
I'll take what I can get

forgive me
Forgive the time I take
forgive the hearts I break
forgive the thoughts I think
forgive these tears I blink
away from my cracked mask

Please

forgive my weakness
never my uniqueness
thats unforgivable
I take your words literal
You speak razor blades

Like

The ones kept in a box
beside my bed, where it locks
along with band-aids
to protect my masquerade
Forgive me

Sunday, April 02, 2006

"The ones we love are always pretty, but the ones who are pretty to begin with... everyone loves them" - from the movie "Picnic"

Beneath the trees, where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

So we had a fabulous time, at the picnic party! So, last night, Martha, SHane, Gareth, Nolan, Jordan, Gill, Ryon, Jenn, AJ, Tash, SPencer S, SPencer M, Nathan, AShley, Nick and I went out to the field behind shanes house and brough alchohol, smokes, a table, some candles (Tidey: those candles are going to get blown out faster than nolan at a 14 year-old's party!) and all the folding chairs and blankets we could find. Shane is an awesome party-haver, there were at least 7 parties over the 7 weeks his grandma was gone. Toga, 90's party, post-nanaimo Idol party, etc etc. Our friends have great parties, that side has those, the other side has bonfire, Down with love, and irish drinking parties, not to mention shakespeare parties :D

The cops came and we were super stealthy so they didnt even see us :D ahahahha! fooled them! Truth or dare, and I Never with that group of people was pretty messed up... although seeing martha give a lapdance to ryon, was funny. like spencer kissing shane :P and nolan throwing up was funny too... in a sad sorta way. some questions were wayyyy too easy to answer. Some were really hard... some were funny to hear the answers to.

no regrets, I suppose :P